I invited four buddies to come with me to the POF Newport Beach holiday party and they truly enjoyed themselves. For myself it was fun but I learned a lot in the process concerning this type of event and how one must behave so that other's you came to meet, are not lost, insulted or feel ignored.
My synopsis on this type of party.
This is the first and likely will be the last party of this sort that I will attend, not because the atmosphere wasn't great or the music and people were not great but merely because there are rules one must follow (in my opinion) to prevent hurt feelings of others. There was a large number of people, circulating the room, coming and going continually. To find someone that you wanted to meet there, you actually most often had to look at their chest for their name badge and decipher the writing to determine for sure if you knew them from an online profile. This is a very awkward process, especially for a man. To wander around a room filled with people, checking out the chests of the ladies for a name badge, which sometimes wasn't even worn, seemed difficult at best.
I had numerous people to meet and actually met only about one-third. Now, that said, it is also a very unusual type of event because what I learned was that it should have been handled on my part, with more organization. If I had it to do over again, I would take each person, that I was there to talk to, to the side of the room, although there was minimal available seating and spend ten minutes, catching up with them. Much like a speed dating process, to me this is how it should have been handled. This I didn't do and found that I only met a few that I wanted to meet and was stuck in situations with people swarming around us as we tried to enjoy a few minutes of conversation as we just quickly moved on. I was looking forward to at least a few minutes of quality time and it didn't play itself out that way. So, I learned that to attend one of these types of POF parties, I really can't just ramble around enjoying myself but have to be set on a mission which is not much fun.
I got back to my office the next day and received an email from one online friend who stated that I was stuck up and 'cut her off'. This is something that clearly wasn't intentional and I do not even remember taking place. There were people bumping into people and we exchanged a minute or two of conversation and then moved on. What this created was hurt feelings and that wasn't my intention but given the environment it so easily took place. But it wasn't only her that felt somewhat hurt or dissed, because I know exactly how she felt. I recall two people, that I really wanted to talk to but were more engaged with others, and I also felt slighted in the process. So, it is not the event that doesn't work well in my opinion but how the attendee plans on handling themselves while there because emotions are involved. It cannot be a relaxed, comfortable stroll around the room but a diligent effort to find those they wanted to talk to, hope they are not already engaged in a conversation, find a space where two could talk and be heard (almost impossible to find) and give that person quality time. This type of event just does not lend itself to quality time and easily initiates hurt feelings. It also feels like the person you may be interested in is interested in someone else, and that person is interested in another, and on and on.
In essence, for me personally, I would not attend another unless I had a plan which is not how I really like to enjoy a party. For me, personally, meeting someone one-to-one on a meeting/date is the best way yet although I know my buddies I invited had a great time, primarily because of the fact that they were not there to meet anyone in particular. They could peruse the room and enjoy everyone's company without a 'search' agenda. Still I did enjoy the evening and did have a good time, just wish I had handled it differently.
