Within You and Without You
a teenager's lament
by Allen Williams circa 1990

Puberty cries out as emotions are wounded
with pain, with pride and with pressure
a test of the waters... to wade in the tide
as an ocean of doubt is teeming inside.

Every day-dream and night-dream
is ceremoniously engaged in self-indulgence
as mother and father is ignored and child
upon leaving the nest turns his back.

No thanks only....
I do not owe you
you who nurtured me, held me, taught me
you who sheltered me, clothed me, loved me
you who forgave me.

I do not owe you my time, my thoughts or my patience...
I do not owe you.
My status I owe to my peers
a status weighted heavy and pressing me down
allowing no freedom of movement or growth
only total conformity with a prayer to fit in
with those I will not know tomorrow.

Father, breathe life in my body
and make me a man
and forgive me just one more time.